Fascinating to watch the different degrees of emotional intelligence displayed via a live TV show like Strictly Come Dancing where all the competitors are under extreme pressure to perform, to keep focused and in control and then receive the judges feedback.
Here are my quick, personal observations linked to AppliedEI. I have nothing but admiration for each celebrity and the personal growth they experience:
Massively increasing their body awareness (their steps, their hands and arm positions, their facial expressions)
Self esteem and interference
How good you feel about yourself absolutely shines through. Look at the personal re-programming that has to be done if you’re a strapping rugby player, knowing your rugby player mates are watching, to feel good about wearing glittery pink shirts, expressing passion or moving gracefully to a Viennese Waltz.
Self management
How they control their nerves. Look at their faces before the take to the dance floor.
Emotional resilience
How they bounce back from criticism when they’ve just given it their all.
Personal power
Transforming an I can’t attitude to I can and I will.
Goal directedness
Long days of training for the 90 sec performance goal.
Flexibility
To trust the challenges of doing things the expert’s way.
Personal openness
Everyones’ vulnerabilities are exposed during this type of development. Going with it as a natural process, acknowledging and then breaking through limits, or, learning to accept oneself to be the best you can be. Darren Gough wasn’t the best dancer last year but look how he made the most of that combination that is Darren to win. It’s been difficult some years for feisty competitive women to appear vulnerable as part of the dance, to be submissive for the male.
Trust
Physical, emotional, mental – every level has to be there to succeed.
Trustworthiness
They have to deliver for the professionals. They have to commit. If they don’t, it shows and they’re out.
Balanced outlook
Keeping things in perspective after being told your performance was hideous and receiving low scores. Learning, accepting, delivering.
Emotional expression & control
Interesting, when there is so much knowledge and availability of sports psychology, multiple intelligences, preferred learning styles etc, that Brendon (in series 2 with Fiona Philips) and James with Georgina in this series resort to bullying with their celebrity in the belief that fear will bring lasting results from their partners. Quite a bit of personal development here on Regard for others (and ultimately Self regard) for Brendon and James. Watch how Vincent gets the best out of Louisa, Anton and Jan, Matthew and Carol.
Brendon, (who’s known for being full of Brendon and his difficulty to conform with the professional protocol when he’s in disagreement), to me, is far more effective when he cools himself down and articulates his views reasonably, rather than aggressively stating he’s right and the others (professional judges) are wrong.
Relative regard
Another point of interest for me is how the true professionals choreograph the routines so that their celebrities shine. Think Darren and Gloria Hunniford last series, Erin and Peter Schmeikel this series, Lilia with Matt. They work as equals, giving support, and don’t use their position to upstage their celebrity or steal the spotlight.
Interdependence
It takes two to Tango!

In my view, the best demonstration of high emotionally intelligent behaviour is with Karen and Mark. They really respect one another while tackling the challenges appropriately for style and type. And just look at the dynamics and chemistry of their results. They’re a delight and an inspiration to watch.